Written by Australian Warlord at 22:19 17/10-2011
Well that's the sensationalist headline from Chat Tabloids.
"A scandal has emerged from Australia after body parts from a 'elite athlete' found its way onto the black market.
It all seemed innocent at first; a new team picks up a aging talent, they get results to move them forward, the rider gains a few more trophies in his cabinet. Only that it wasn't so innocent at team Australian Warlord.
When AW manager Rustgold announced that 32 year old Andrej Pandula was having specialist training, a few eyebrows were raised; after all, you don't normally train aging riders. These raised eyebrows quickly became questions and then claims of butchery when it was discovered Pandula was to lose 10 kg for increased mountain capabilities.
Butchery turned out to be more accurate than first imagined. It all started when a rogue kidney from a 'elite athlete' was listed for sale on the black market.
AW's manager was denying all wrongdoing, claiming "Pandula's weight loss is due to our special training." But when evidence of black market trading in body parts became too much to ignore, OCM's Riders Association stepped in.
Rumours are that when OCM's Riders Association raided AW's chopshop, they found a disqualified surgeon on premises. Papers seized indicate they were about to remove Pandula's digitus mínimus mánus (little fingers); but fortunately for Pandula, they got there in time.
Eyewitnesses told Chat Tabloids that Rustgold was shouting "It's excess weight, they don't need them for racing," as he was led away. He wasn't available for comment.
Australian Warlord's receptionist denied all allegations, claiming "AW simply has elite training facilities". However when reporters asked about the massive cash inflow into Australian Warlord's accounts, she quickly excused herself.
We tried talking to Pandula, but all the Czech could say was "Me lighter to climb mountains." The evidence is clear; Australian Warlord's manager took advantage of an aging star with poor English skills to venture into the body parts black market business.
As this goes to press, Andrej Pandula is searching for a new team; while the hunt continues for missing black marketed body parts."
That's Chat Tabloid's news story, and as usual it's light on truth. Pandula simply suited our training facilities. We also know 2 + 2 = 4, which is a skill lacking at Chat Tabloids. Finally, we're generally not available for comment at 2:30am, normal people know why.
Of course that isn't exciting enough for Chat Tabloid. Besides, if we were to start selling body parts, we know young is fresher.
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Comments
I found, and transplanted it into Wajeeh Essam! He's even more resilient now, and part of Pandula lives on in the team!
@Finz : Of course, how do you think we organise the bla.... never mind.
@Pees : We have a special 3rd contact for these things. Expect a phone call.... shhh
hmmm i have some old riders i could offer to AW
:)
wtf man!!!
wtf, you have a receptionist!!!
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